NEW YORK, NY – Somewhere in Milwaukee, radar guns are filing workers’ compensation claims.
Jacob Misiorowski lit up baseball Friday night by uncorking a 105.5 mph fastball for the Brewers, tying the third-fastest pitch ever recorded. The only two faster? Both belonged to Aroldis Chapman: 105.8 mph in 2010 and 105.7 mph in 2016. Chapman basically owns the speed limit.
Now for the uncomfortable question: How long before somebody schedules Tommy John surgery?
Nobody wants to root against a phenomenal talent. Misiorowski is electric, mesmerizing and must-see television. But asking a human elbow to repeatedly launch baseballs at 105-plus mph feels like asking a lawn chair to support an elephant. And before you cite Chapman’s health, note that he’s a reliever. Misiorowski is a starter.
Modern pitchers are built like Formula One cars—blindingly fast, spectacular to watch, and seemingly one vibration away from a trip to the repair shop.
Speaking of self-inflicted damage…
The WNBA should rebrand as Basketball for Dummies. “BFD” is much more in line with their collective treatment of Caitlin Clark. Truly, this continues to be one of the great business mysteries in sports. Here’s a player who has driven television ratings through the roof, packed arenas, attracted sponsors, increased media attention and, yes, helped inflate player salaries. Yet, she’s greeted nightly with cheap shots, hard fouls and enough resentment to qualify as a labor dispute.
That’s not toughness. That’s fiscal malfeasance. When someone helps increase the size of everybody’s pie, maybe don’t throw her into Friday rush-hour traffic. BFD agents everywhere are punching themselves in the face over this.
Finally, soccer.
The world’s most popular sport remains allergic to common sense.
My proposals:
Start by removing one player from each side. Instead of 11-on-11, play 10-on-10. More space. More creativity. More scoring chances. Fewer matches that resemble rush-hour traffic.
Next, if a player stops play claiming injury, he or she must sit out for five minutes while treatment continues. Amazing how many “career-threatening” leg injuries would suddenly become minor inconveniences.
Then appoint an in-game judiciary committee consisting of three retired rugby players. Why rugby players? Because rugby players spend the entire match trying to convince the ref they are NOT injured. They know the difference between pain and performance art. If they determine a player exaggerated contact or flat-out took a dive, automatic red card. Further, the “diver” will be subject to further suspensions during a review after the match.
And while we’re fixing things, let’s allow body-checking similar to hockey. Not boarding. Not charging. Just legal shoulder-to-shoulder contact that reminds everyone this is supposed to be a sport—not interpretive dance with shin guards.
If baseball can survive 105 mph fastballs and basketball can survive social media, surely soccer can survive a little honesty.
Besides, the rugby guys will enjoy the overtime.
