GRAPEFRUIT LEAGUE, USA – And with one mighty Spring Training swing, we all got to see something we’ve never seen before: a home run on first pitch of MLB’s Grapefruit League season. For the Mets, at least. And irregardless regardless of it being the first pitch a player saw, we are chalking it up as Major League Baseball history, “Maybe the best ever!” according to President Trump (rumored). Let’s meet the parties involved!
Brodie Van Wagenen: This finely coiffed man upstairs is front and center in this epic event and part of a separate history on his own. Not only is GM BVW the guy responsible for putting the likes of our main history-maker on the field, he is also the only UNDEFEATED MLB GM! All others have lost games. Not this guy, folks! You don’t get better than undefeated!
Peter Pete Alonso: Is this the next Mike Vail, or is he the next… Dave Kingman. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers and batting average aside, David Arthur “Sky King” Kingman was one of the game’s most exciting players to watch. Even his Kong-like Ks and popups were cool to see. But Alonso, who shortened his name down to Pete from [wait for it]… Peter, has a tough base-path to hoe if he wants to win a spot on the roster, or more significantly, the 1B job. Dom Smith, *Tim Tebow and displaced 3rd baseman Todd Frazier are in the mix. Wait… they absolutely suck. For Pete’s sake then, let’s put Petes’ pop in the lineup! We’ll forgive the fact that, like Sky King, he plays first like Steve Bye-Bye Balboni or in hockey terms, a blind Zamboni.
That forced hockey reference allows to A) Curse puck-head Cheesy Bruin for being MIA today and B) segue to saying goodbye to a NYC sports favorite…
Mats Zuccarello: We will miss you. You were the Charlie Hustle of Madison Square Garden. Always dirty, always in the mix. We’ll leave it to the words of your bosses and also of King Henry, to sum up our feelings. Click either to take you what others are thinking:
And there you have… Leave your two cents below and come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, whom has forgotten how to add pictures or media. Oh, and check out a young pundit that will be dancing circles around the rest of us before he has hair in his armpits.
*Tim Tebow is NOT in the 1B mix, we just wanted to mention him for SEO reasons.
P.s… Here is a sample of King Kong Kingman vs steroid boys, Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco.
