A RETURN TO NORMALCY AND PHANATICISM

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by Different Matt

EVERYTOWN, USA – Finally!!! Baseball is back. The regular season is underway and millions of bored people around the country now have something to do. Every day, from now until the end of October (except for that brutal day after the All-Star game), there will be something for baseball fans to watch, listen to, talk about and write about on MeettheMatts.com.

Since the Yankees won the World Series last October, something had been missing from life. After the celebration and the subsequent hangover, there was a sudden and intense feeling of “What the hell do I do now?” I felt like John Rambo coming home when there was no more war to fight and no more buzkashi to play.

Sure, there was football, and hockey, and basketball, but nothing compared to baseball. Those other sports were just doses of methadone when what I was jonesing for was a hit of the smack that baseball provided. Where was Mother Superior when I needed him/her?

Olympic Hockey provided a two-week distraction from B.D.I.D. (Baseball Deprivation Induced Depression), even though the wrong team (America’s Hat) won. March Madness (especially the fine run of my Big Red of Cornell) gave me break from the doldrums. Even when my bracket was thoroughly busted (after the first day) the tournament kept me interested. But nothing compares to the everyday discussions that baseball provides.

Watching the schizophrenic Rangers play hockey just made things worse. They would look like Stanley Cup contenders one night, only to play like epileptic, one-legged, no-armed *midgets on ice the next. I won’t even talk about the Knicks. I described the Rangers as epileptic, one-legged, no armed midgets and they still might make the playoffs. Anything I could say to describe the New York Knickerbockers would be unprintable.

Now I have my fix. There will be something Baseball related to talk about every day for the next six months. There will be many hours spent listening to sports talk radio after questionable pitching changes, stupid base running mistakes, (Fernando Tatis) big wins, and bad losses. There will be countless hours of company time spent checking and rechecking player stats, team standings and pitching match-ups. Life is back to normal for the baseball fan. And not a moment too soon.

*Sincerest apologies to any epileptic, one-legged, no-armed midgets that may have been offended by this piece.

    A PHANATIC PHRIDAY PHOLLOW-UP:

by Philly Phanatic
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NOT EVERYTOWN, USA – Usually when I hack into the MeetTheMatts.com IT Dept to see drafts of all the articles, nothing ever catches my eye -other than Cookie’s and Jillian Brooks’ phone numbers. But when I saw the title of Different Matt’s column, A Return To Normalcy, I thought it was going to be about the return of yours truly in a Phanatic Phriday pheature. Boy, was I wrong.

I guess I can come on here and debate with Yankee fans about the likelihood of a World Series rematch this fall –and I will – but it certainly won’t be as phun as the old days of Phitin’ with Mets fans about winning the NL East. Now that Mets fans have accepted the role of also-rans, I don’t want to be the one to kick sand in the face of the proverbial 98-pound-weakling… After all, Philly is The City Of Brotherly Love.

Phace it, Los Mets have turned into Baseball’s New York Islanders. And speaking of hockey, the next 60 hours will determine if the “epileptic, one-legged, no armed midgets” actually do make the playoffs. The Rangers and Flyers play a Home and Home series beginning tonight at Madison Square Garden to determine who continues on into one of the most exciting spectacles in niche sports; the NHL Playoffs. Of course, it also will determine who gets knocked out by the team from Washington… And that’s something you can’t say in Baseball.

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About Different Matt 264 Articles
Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.