Thereâ€™s a hundred and sixty two games of regular season,
And the World Series comes along just to end it,
So the players have to keep on coming up with a reason,
To pick a walk-up song and then defend itâ€¦
â€¦Like Nick Johnson who last week raised a few eyebrowsâ€”and perhaps assaulted a few earsâ€”when he stepped to the plate at the New Yankee Workshop to the always inspiring strains of Miley Cyrusâ€™s Party in the USA. He played it because his four-year-old daughter was in the crowd and itâ€™s her favoriteâ€¦and he himself admitted to being a fan, saying â€œitâ€™s got a good twist to it.â€ Now, since I donâ€™t have any daughters, Iâ€™ve never actually heard this song so Iâ€™m wondering what this â€œtwistâ€ is. Is she a man? Was she the ghost all along? Is it that she is Darth Vaderâ€™s daughter? (No, her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus, so you mightâ€™ve seen that one coming).
I happen to have a four-year old boy, and if I were a big leaguer who wanted to please him, Iâ€™d be stepping up there to We Will Rock You, which he can listen to all dayâ€”and hasâ€”but itâ€™s still in pretty good rotation at stadiums anyway. So what else might he like to hear blasting out of the speaker towers at a game? I know my older boy was introduced to The Ramones (Hey Ho, Letâ€™s Go!) at a Dodger game, so these are decisions not to be taken lightly (nowadays, for a good walk-up tune, heâ€™d probably prefer the theme from Haloâ€¦which, now that I listen to the first twenty or so seconds might just be awesome)â€¦but in the spirit of Nick the Walkâ€™s daughter, I tried to think of songs taken from their favorite Disney/Nick/Toon shows, and just who might best incorporate them.
Phineas and Ferb: The above bit is from thereâ€¦but if you have a kid between the ages of four and eight, chances are you recognized it and now once again have that song in your head all day. Unfortunately there arenâ€™t many big league brothers that might get away with this, apart from the Molinasâ€¦so Iâ€™m gonna try and force the image of Yadier and Bengie creating rocket cars and super-mini-golf courses, with older brother Jose constantly calling their mother to bust them. Agent P, I suppose, would have to be Gaylord Perry the Platypus.
Yo Gabba Gabba: Thereâ€™s a Party In My Tummy. This might skew a little young, but Cookie mentioned it the other day and yeah, itâ€™s crazy but shockingly entertaining. â€œIâ€™m gonna eatâ€¦yeah-ahhh!â€ Even though heâ€™s an avowed vegetarian, and a pleased-to-be-eaten chicken is one of the first mentions, Prince Fielder definitely looks like a guy who can put his weight behind this song as he steps to the batterâ€™s boxâ€¦and besides, itâ€™s got an eat-your-veggies message to boot.
Batman Brave and the Bold: This is my four-year-oldâ€™s hands down favorite show, so heâ€™d quite enjoy seeing a ballplayer swing into action to its opening chords…and damn if it wouldn’t stir the crowd as well. Iâ€™m gonna go with the J-Hey Kid, Jason Heyward. Even though this guy isnâ€™t really old enough to have a four year old himself, heâ€™s a Brave so that works into the title, heâ€™s bold to be holding his own in the bigs for his hometown team without any visible nerves yet, and heâ€™ll be their best bat man for years to come.
Pokemon: I wonâ€™t annoy you with this Japanese-synth-pop ear bleeder, but my kids would be as thrilled to hear it in the stadium as they would to find a rare Deoxys card. This would be good for (donâ€™t call me Andrew) Dice-K, when he hits during the interleague portion of the seasonâ€¦though heâ€™s gone from the powers of a Mewtwo to the pathetic Magikarp. Do I know what Iâ€™m talking about here? No. No I donâ€™t. But if you do, you could have a meaningful conversation with my kids.
There are more: The Simpsons theme would get a rise out of them. So would iCarly, for reasons I canâ€™t quite understand (well, two cute girls who live in an awesome loft who make their own show and apparently have no adult supervision at allâ€¦okay, I guess I do understand). Iâ€™m sure you parents out there reading this could probably think of some othersâ€¦and chances are, I would probably recognize them more readily than I recognize most of the Dodgersâ€™ walk-on songs (though the miracle of the Shazam app helps). In the meantime, Iâ€™ll keep pushing the classics on them.
Grote’s Gripes, tomorrow.