2014 Year In Review: Grienke, Sterling, Putin, Michael Sam, Jeter, Richard Sherman and…

Hey, for a scummy LA slumlord, at least he's not being investigated for arson.
2014, Before...
2014, Before…

DENVER, CO – If you haven’t pulled yourself out of bed this morning, I don’t blame you. It’s the last Monday of 2014… what a crappy year. A whole lot of stuff happened in the past 12 months, believe it or not, and frankly it’s all blurred together for me. I’ll blame it on a Mile Contact High, while I’m here in Colorado, but will nevertheless endeavor to recap because I bet most of you have blocked most of it from your collective memories. Here’s what I got, see if you can make sense of it:

January: Florida State won the BCS Title without having to go through any kind of logical playoff system… Kiss performed in Dodger Stadium and a hockey game broke out… Richard Sherman became the most awesome person in America by telling us he was.

February: Going for most awesome person on the planet, however, was tougher to cover than Michael Crabtree, but a wily Vladimir Putin put on the Winter Olympics in Russia’s only summer resort, confused foreign journalists with hastily constructed bathrooms, and made homophobia a matter of national pride. Ukraine was so upset at this treatment that they kicked out their own President Putin-Puppet and seceded from the Soviet Union… again.

Hey, for a scummy LA slumlord, at least he's not being investigated for arson.
Hey, for a scummy LA slumlord, at least he’s not being investigated for arson.

March: Putin retaliates by shooting down a Malaysian Plane and then hiding it just beyond the reach of a frustrated CNNMajor League Baseball joins the search, sending the Dodgers and Diamondbacks to open the season in Australia a whole week before the season actually started…a clever ruse, as nobody actually watched the games, giving the enthusiastic Zack Grienke extra time to scour the high seas.

April: Lots of stuff going on in the world. Before there was the ice bucket challenge, there was Bring Back Our Girls. But in the world of sports, apart from a Bubba winning The Masters, not so much. Oh, except for Donald Sterling.

May: Michael Sam becomes the first 7th round NFL draft pick to become a household name. California Chrome wins the Double Crown!

MLS quality.
MLS quality.

June: Oh yeah, there’s a third one of those. Meanwhile the Rangers made it within a couple of games of sipping from the Stanley Cup; and Americans were introduced to two new things to hate: ISIS, and Chris Wondolowski.

July: Short Matt begs everyone he can to listen to the Bobby V podcasts.

August: The Derek Jeter Farewell Tour officially begins to turn from uncomfortable to nauseating. That’s okay, the NFL is gearing up and there’s a potential new Cheech and Chong in Pittsburgh’s LeVeon Bell and LaGarett Blount. One can only imagine the hijinks as the two inseparable running backs spend an entire season together! It doesn’t quite work out that way, but both have better years than Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, and Roger Goodell.

September: The Magical Jetery Tour makes its final stop in the Bronx, and the rest of the long suffering country get to watch Yankee fans bask in yet another glorious moment, even when they’re 12 games out of first and nowhere close to playoff contention.

October: Long suffering Kansas City Royal fans have to suffer a little longer.

...and after.  Good luck, Baby 2015!
…and after. Good luck, Baby 2015!

November: Jose Canseco gives the world the finger, and Odell Beckham gives Giant fans an I-was-there moment that negates all the crummy other stuff that happened to them this season.

December: North Korea’s chances of hosting the Olympics anytime soon are illegally downloaded hundreds of thousands of times.

To sum it up, 2014 had an inordinate amount of war, plane crashes, comedians’ deaths, a comedian’s reputation’s death, viral challenges, Ebola viral challenges, and hateful teams winning championships.

Good riddance. 2015 has got to be better, right? Right?

Grinding Ax Walter Hynes, tomorrow.

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About West Coast Craig 226 Articles
West Coast Craig reports from Hollywood with an endearingly laid back style. A happily married father of two little boys, WCC has an avocado tree in his yard, plays the hot corner in a "Valley" hardball league and always manages to take cool sports-related mini road-trips, often with his immediate clan. He hails from Oneonta, NY but has been "So very L.A." for twenty years, so his sports teams are the Yankees AND the Dodgers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the L.A. Lakers and the Colorado Avalanche/Quebec Nordiques. WCC loves bacon-wrapped hotdogs and can touch his heel and his ear... with his hand.