FARMINGDALE, NY – While we were waiting between periods for like Big Al Sternberg to find/conjure his venting alter ego Fake Sandy Alderson, we realized we better get our pens and protractors out and put something up when Godot showed up unannounced and said he’d wait with us for our MIA FSA. With that, let’s entertain ourselves with the following Sports Headlines: Old Barn Dies, Miracle Mets, No Respect Nets, Bruce Jenner…
The Old Barn Is Dead: After coming out and playing the first two periods of what was to their last of their season as if it were a November regular season game, the Islanders will not be going home… ever. They killed the suddenly-romantic (if you’re a nitwit) Old Barn and will now be eschewing mullets and stone-washed jeans (and jean shorts), for purposely messy hair and skinny jeans. So far, John Tavares is more Yashin than Trottier, don’t even mention Messier any more. SIDE NOTE: Thought it was very strange to see Isles Coach Capuano smiling and hugging Caps after the match. He’s no Al Arbour.
Miracle Mets: They were dancin’ in Dingle, Derry and Dublin after Danny Murphy hit a 9th-inning, 3-run jack to give Dillon Gee a win and Familia another 1-2-3 save in a game that lasted 48 minutes. You can call this one a pitcher’s duel, but really it was a like a split-squad spring training game, chock full of not-ready-for-the-majors type players. The best part of the night was likely Keith Hernandez informing Gary Cohen, “This is our first two-some, Gary… of the year.” (Ron Darling was off). Oh, and Mike Crud-dyer continues to suck with runners on base. Last night, with runners on first and second, nobody out and Keith saying, “I really don’t want my clean-up hitter bunting here,” Cruds popped up on the infield.
Brooklyn Nets: From the “Rodney Dangerfield No Respect Department,” the soon-to-be-Farmingdale Nets re not only in the playoffs – they actually rose from the dead to win two in a row vs DJ Eberle’s Hawks, tying the series after 4 games that nobody saw. Blame for this NYC-based NBA indifference falls squarely on the shoulders of the New York Knickerbockers, who were so offensively bad, they forced us all away from the sport mid-Hanukkah week.
Bruce Jenner: Does he need to change his name? Isn’t “Bruce” effeminate enough? Think of the money
he’d save… she’d save.
That’s it… leave your two cents below and send out flares that the MIA FSA/Big Al might see. And look for us on Twitter @MeetTheMatts on your way to coming back tomorrow for a man who’s Wild about hockey right now, Angry Ward.