EAST PALO ALTO, CA – I’ve made my distaste for ESPN known in the past. Among the reasons I much prefer watching the MLB Network, or NBA Network, etc is that I just don’t give a crap about any of these other “fad” or trendy sports and I don’t understand much about them either. Every one of these games is going on simultaneously at Flushing Meadow Park every Sunday. Plus they still have one of the few remaining carousels in the 5 boroughs still running.
So when I’m sitting down to watch the day’s baseball highlights, or the latest great performance by Steph Curry, I don’t want NASCAR or Hope Solo shoved down my throat. I find those other “sports” and “games” a bit odd, and just like Peter Griffin, I fear what I don’t understand. For expert analysis and opinion on those things, I’ll defer to my more erudite colleagues.
Your parents don’t name you “Fake Sandy Alderson” if you’re not expected to grow up a keen observer and participant in America’s pastime. Baseball is my first love (well, Heidi Vernikoff in 6th grade, but) and I was born and raised in Queens so my tastes ran toward the conventional. No golf, tennis, fishing, soccer, lacrosse, or anything else. Therefore when it comes to opining about these other sports, you’ve got the wrong guy. I can speak with certainty about some sports, and not at all about others.
Hoops: I don’t care how many players the Cleveland Cavaliers lose, they are still going to win this NBA title series because they’re the ones with LeBron James. Draymond Green has been the best player for Golden State so far. Honorable mention to Dell Curry as America’s Grandpa, and to his lovely wife Sonya who set Twitter on fire last week.
Horsies: My Dad used to schlep me to the track once a month when I was growing up, but the passion for the ponies never took hold, so I got nothing on American Pharaoh. I remember being a huge Ruffian fan growing up though.
Baseball/Utter Contempt for Mets: Looking back, it’s actually hilarious that in 2012, (Real) Sandy Alderson implored fans in New York to get out and vote to support the All-Star candidacy of long retired Met David Wright. After all, Sandy urged New Yorkers-as a metro area of more than 15 Million to out-do the fans voting for Pablo Sandoval from San Francisco-a city with well under 1 million folks. Sandy was incredulous in asking New York fans to act like a big market. The irony is tangible and delightful all at once here.
Golf: I enjoy playing with my putter as much as the next guy. But every Sunday, my father in law comes over and immediately looks to change the channel from Baseball to Golf. He loves Tiger Woods. “Tigaahhh, Tigahhhh.” Golf is not a sport. It’s a game. When a 68 year old guy can actually win something in your game-it’s not a sport. Plus you have to be silent while these dudes “play.” A stationary ball with no noise. What the hell is that? Where’s the challenge?
I heard the USA Womens’ Team won their World Cup game vs Australia last night in Winnipeg. I didn’t know the women had a world cup. I only know that goalie Han Solo beat up her boyfriend or something.
Finally, last night’s MLB amateur draft saw the Dodgers select Casey Funkhouser in the 1st round. Casey of course, is the grandson of Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Marty Funkhouser. We wish them both well. Come back tomorrow for a man whose Enthusiasm is impossible to Curb, Angry Ward.
P.s… You can find me ranting on Twitter here: @AldersonFake