NEW YORK, NY – If you had to pick one player to build your team around, it would be pretty easy to come up with a name. But we’re not into doing things easily here in Mattville, so our question is for you to pick the 4 Players NOT to Build Your Team Around.
NBA: Let’s start with the only year-round professional sport, the one with the Finals closer to the 4th of July than the April 15th Tax Day – which is when the Finals should be played. Anyway, this should be a layup for even the most non-engaged basketball fan, so long as they have a pulse and don’t live in a cave. Who is it? [Drum Roll] Why it’s someone any Phil Jackson and/or NY Knickerbockers fan would love to see NOT playing for the Knicks, Carmelo Anthony. The fact that Jackson, who was brought in because of his treasure chest of NBA Championship bling, extended this moping, one-way player rather than letting him walk, is just absurd. And the 4th pick in the draft will do nothing to offset that gaffe.
NFL: It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, a Mel Kiper or a Mike Francesa to know that the quarterback position is the most important on the professional gridiron. Franchises are raised or razed almost instantly by a boom or bust choice under center. Enter Jay Cutler. All you need to know is that the kids on South Park knew he was, well… a douche. And that was when he was with Denver. Give John Elway & Co. credit for realizing their mistake, circling their Broncos-led wagons and cutting that mule/jackass loose. Blue Jay then managed to alienate his offensive line in The Windy City, blowing smoke up his own [jack]ass, while publicly pointing fingers at his teammates. The only cure for him is Mike Ditka. He’s handled douches at the helm in the past.
MLB: Oy gevalt. Look no further than to another borough, NY sports fans… With the Bernie Madoff, Wilponzi scheme choking the New York Mets, they – led by MLB-appointed GM Sandy Alderson – extended the Golden Boy, David Wright, to huge, undeserved contract. Two things about that deal that bothered the pink out of our [butt] cheeks about this one:
A) Wright didn’t run for the [Hollywood] hills – or the Bronx – as a free agent, knowing full well that the Mess would be cutting payroll and sucking worse than at any time he was with them. What player that truly cares firstly about winning would have done so?!
B) He was far to brittle and already had back issues. And by the way, when you go for a MRI on you back, it will show stenosis. We know from personal experience. The Mets knew about Wright’s condition LONG AGO.
He will make a cameo appearance this year and then be “shut down” to get him healthy for 2016. Watch. This Wright was a Wrong. Oy gevalt.
NHL: Our hockey pick wasn’t a clear cut. Unfortunately, NYC claims another Winner(?) Rick Nash, whose real name is rumored to be Claude Rains (he was the Invisible Man – like today’s scheduled pundit), as he vanishes before our very watchful eyes come playoff time. Last year we could argue that he was knew on the team… blah, blah, blah. After this year, we know he’s just blah.
And there you have it. Those are our 4 players NOT to build around.
Who would we build around, you ask?
Derek Jeter is one name that rolls out of our ears. By the way, notice how he has gone off into the sunset without a peep? Very un-Favre like, don’t you think?