NEW YORK, NY – It’s official. Pigs are driving our stunned air traffic controllers bonkers, as they are indeed flying. Things we never thought we’d see happen are happening. Sure, Tim Tebow to the Metsies stands alone as the headliner at Bill Veeck’s Theater of the Absurd, but what of the Shaq to the Yanks rumors? Crazy yes, but not half as surreal as our Defending Terry Collins.
Lets’ start there.
Ripley’s Believe It or Not will be showcasing this one in the years to come. We’ve been calling for Mets Manager Terry Collins’ head for at least 4 years, nearly every day. His awkward stewardship during the World Series was as revealing as it was costly and was a microcosm of his day-to-day mismanagement. The way he handled Jeurys Familia vs the Royals in the Fall Classic was the stuff of a Shakespearean Tragedy. It was comically criminal. He should have been ordered to show his hands, put them behind his head and step away from the team. Shockingly, he even admitted that he was learning as he went. Honest? Yes. Acceptable? No. Not for a guy pushing 70. Only Gary Aleppo Johnson thinks that’s not disqualifiable.
And Skipper Collins has had mind-numbing moments this year. The other day in Cincy, for instance, he pinch-hit for his only decent defensive first baseman, James “Ball” Loney, in the 7th inning of a tight game. The booth openly questioned the move, which aligned with our screaming at the TV. Las Vegas 51s Player X meekly flew out to left.
BUT…
Terry Collins has his team winning when they have absolutely NO BUSINESS doing so. An apocalyptic avalanche of injuries and cruddy caliber players pooped from GM Sandy Alderson’s derriere should have had this collection free-falling. Yet, here they are, plucky and pecking away – and we love these Plucky Peckers. How is Collins doing it? After scratching our collective bald domes until they were bleeding, we came up with this ground-breaking conclusion: the players like him. And you know what? THAT can mean everything in professional sports. Kudos, Terry Collins. You gorgeous hunk of Manager, you!
Cut to…
Is Brian Cashman really bringing Shaq to the Yanks? Not yet but who knows? One can dream. And Joe Girardi gets our vote for Manager of the Year in the AL. Maybe Joe and Terry will get us a Subway Series Redeux.
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