Big Ben Tuesday: Cashman and Double-Agent Jeter Collude in Giancarlo Stanton Christmas Miracle

Big @BenWhit8 on #Cashman & Double-Agent #Jeter in #GiancarloStanton Christmas Miracle or Collusion Farce via @MeetTheMatts
Jeter and Cash colluding
Cashman and Double-Agent Jeter Collude in Giancarlo Stanton Christmas Miracle
Colluding or Canoodling?

SANTA’S WORKSHOP, NORTH POLE – It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christ-mas. The Yankees did some early shopping and reeled in the biggest fish, Giancarlo Stanton. And man, does he look sharp in pinstripes. The cacophony of whining that followed was like snack time at nursery school.

The Empire Rises

Deep in the bowels of Yankee Stadium, in the dark of night, with his pet boa constrictor draped around his shoulders, Brian Cashman stroked his handlebar mustache and hatched a plan. The details of how Cashman was able to execute a flawless game of subterfuge using his team’s iconic shortstop as a double agent are hazy, but it was a masterstroke. And you thought stealing Didi from the Diamondbacks was impressive.

Collusion Afoot

The word of the year is surely “collusion.” Previously it was only used to berate fantasy football owners for bad trades. But this year it has been brought to the forefront by the bumbling band of buffoons in the White House in their shady dealings with Russia during the election. Now the word is being fired at the Yankees and Cashman for swooping in and landing Stanton from old pal Derek Jeter and the Marlins.

Here’s a look at some of the lunacy on Twitter:

Get a Grip People

If you want to blame anyone for the mess in Miami, blame Jeffrey Loria. Jeter’s hands were tied when he walked through the door. Loria is the one who gave Stanton the fat, back loaded contract with a no trade clause. That big Marlin jumped out of the water and right into the Yankee Steamer. What were they supposed to do, throw him back? It’s not like they went out and outbid everyone, luxury tax be damned. The Yankees are still projected to be about $20 million under the cap. So they can make more off-season additions, leave enough for mid season moves, and achieve their goal of staying under the cap. And if they can find a taker for Ellsbury or Headley, they’ll have even more wiggle room. So ease up with the “the Evil Empire is back” chatter. Mr. Whitney, would you like a steak, a cold beer, and a massage? No thanks, I’m good with these carrots sticks and knots in my back. You don’t pass up an opportunity like that, so zip it you whiners.

The whole reason the Yankees were able to take on the contract and teams like the Dodgers is because so many of their core players – Judge, Severino, Sanchez, Bird, etc – are homegrown and don’t make much money. Yet. If you take out the $21 million they paid A-Rod last year, plus the $8.5 million they would have paid Starlin Castro in 2018, Stanton’s $25 million doesn’t look too bad. You know, if you don’t think about the other quarter billion.

Who’s on Second?

New toy under the tree

Castro was a good player and the Yankees missed him while he was out with an injury. But his addition in this trade eased a bit of the financial burden away from the Yankees for 2018 and it opened the door for Gleyber Torres. Let’s see if he can step through the door. With the lineup they’ll have, there shouldn’t be a ton of pressure to produce right away. And if he’s not ready, Ronald Torreyes is a fine stop-gap who can provide a little spark from the nine hole. Or at the very least, take hilarious pictures standing between the hulking Hanz and Franz bookends of Judge and Stanton.

If you like the long ball, and strikeouts, it sure should be fun. “I feel sorry for the baseballs,” said Stanton. The Yankee players had some fun with it.

Shove it Ohtani.

Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward and his handlebar mustache. You can follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts. 

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About Ben Whitney 384 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.