HOUSTON, TX –
HARDEN’S BEARD – After watching bits of Angry Ward’s Golden State Warriors gag against Houston’s Rockets, two things were abundantly clear:
1) James Harden is one heckuva hoopster. Our stat guy says he has triple doubles in 24 of his last 26 games. Amazin’ – even if prevaricated. And he carried the freed-from-Melo Rockets past the aforementioned GSW squad, despite seeing pink elephants after taking an elbow to the chin. NOTE: Don’t poke the bear, or beard in this case… which brings us to #2.
2) Beard Controversy – There is no way – absolutely zero chance – that he is a better player with that thing on his face. No. Way. It’s the same for long hair flying around. And sure, you could argue that this follicularly challenged pundit could merely be jealous – and you’d be right – but as John Adams said, “Facts are stubborn things.” The factoid here is that beards and long hair, a the highest level of sport(s), must be a distraction – at least for nano-seconds per game – and therefore hinder a player’s performance/focus. Think of the itching! Stubble is okay. Man-buns, Civil War General/ZZ Top beards are not. Maybe long hair under a helmet or hat is less performance-hindering, but NFL defenders can legally grab your hair. No further questions, Your Honor… James Harden would be better without a party hat hanging from his chin.
MLB Reliever Booty: Former NY Stankee, David Robertson, signed a 3-year deal to pitch in
Hell… Philthydelphia. He’s getting something like 50 Million (Canadian) “to pitch high-leverage innings for us,” Phillies general manager Matt Klentak said. (If you say that last name fast enough, it comes out as McLintock, no?) Anyway, skewed deal numbers aside, that’s quite a haul for a 33-year-old. It is pretty cool, though, that he won’t have to split any of it with his agent, as he negotiated the deal himself. Makes you want to hit him in the face with a bag of nickels, figuratively of course, out of jealousy, no? Be honest…
While you look yourself in the mirror, we’ll move on.
NFL Wild Card Weekend – Want to win money? Then take this sure-fire insight and bet accordingly: The Pats, Chiefs, Saints and Rams will NOT lose this weekend. Bet your life savings, mortgage, rent, kid’s tuition on those nuggets. Not good enough for you? Okay, then bet the Colts to win on the road in James Harden’s backyard. FYI, Andrew Luck – right now – is the best QB in the playoffs. Need more? Bet the Chargers. Philip Rivers will protect the ball and take his team back to
San Diego California with a win. Don’t touch the other games. They are too hard to pick.
That’s it for now, leave your thoughts below and come back tomorrow for a man who is forming an Presidential Exploratory Campaign Committee to see if he should take on the incumbent and challengers, Junoir Blaber.