CHELSEA, NYC – Working on the set of a popular major network cop show last night as a Special Effects guy making smoke and wetting down W27th Street, made keeping up with the MLB Wild Card hunt a tad difficult. And as a charter chugger of the Jonestown-like Kool-Aid us weak-willed Mets fans gulp at even the slightest tease of success, it was easy to identify and consort with other afflicted junkies seeking an Amazin fix.
“Conforto single. Davis scores. One zip. Thor looks good.”
That came from the addict charged with alerting fellow fidgeting and afflicted junkees about “the score.” Just so happens that the Met faithful’s Paul Revere was me.
“Rinky-dink, opposite-field double. Syndergaard laboring a bit. Two f****ing one. Frazier bl*ws. Couldn’t get the guy in from third with one out. Wilmer would’ve gotten him in.”
And so, with the realization that despite having said over and over again at one meeting (drink-up) after the next that it wouldn’t happen, I am completely, utterly and hopelessly sucked right back into Mets Madness. Hell, I even wrote about this last Sunday, invoking Al Pacino in the Godfather.
“Jesus Christ! Davis is out hurt and some blond guy just loaded the bases with nobody out! Davis coming in.”
It’s the last part that quote that brings us [finally] to the core of this couch session; a managerial move made under the microscope of a big market team in a pennant race…
BRODIE VAN WAGENEN NEEDS TO REPLACE MICKEY CALLAWAY. RIGH NOW.
The Mets GM made a bold move at the trading deadline, staving off the circling pinstriped vultures wafting their repugnantly putrid Bronx odors, and keeping Noah and Wheeler, while stealing Stroman. But this gutsy and macho maneuvering will be looked back at as nothing more than heroically foolish (think George Armstrong Custer), if he doesn’t relinquish his field general of his command. The barbarians are not just at the gate, Brodie, they’ve breached that cursed Dodger-themed rotunda of a shrine that your f***ked-in-the-head owner thought was cool. ‘Hey, let’s pay homage to the team(s) that ripped the heart out of this city in the middle of the night.’
HIRE JOE GIRARDI OR WALLY BACKMAN
Look, we don’t dislike Mickey Callaway. He seems like a very nice man. He’s a younger version of Terry Collins – a likeable and loyal-to-his-players guy that simply isn’t a big-market, pressure-tested manager. Like Terry, he’s a bench coach. He has over-managed at critical and costly pivotal moments, turning 6-8 possible wins into losses. Unfortunately, even Theo Epstein can’t quantify that number, so this is opinion. Remember opinion? It was a thing that we used to offer before smart phones ruined vociferous and enlightening debate. Anyway, there is one ugly, indisputable fact: Joe Girardi or Wally Backman are both available, perfectly capable to handle all of the aforementioned and would be welcomed with opened arms by Mets fans everywhere.
Bring in one of them NOW. Otherwise, Brodie, this will be just another Little Big Horn, as the Braves vanquish you and history recalls you as just another foolhardy flash-in-the-pan, failed Fred Wilpon wannabe.
That’s all for now. Please comment below and come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, who thought today was Friday.