Cristiano Ronaldo, Elijah Moore vs Gang Green, Stanks Stink-Up Houston

NEW YORK, NY – Just to clarify in case you’re new in these parts, yours truly in not a fan of the New York Yankees. I’m a psychologically scarred New York Mets fan. That makes today a particularly beautiful autumn day, what with the leaves changing colors, the temperature being just right and… the Stanks being down 2-0 to the Houston Astros. Life is good. But enough of that. Let’s get to today’s talking points: Cristiano Ronaldo, Elijah Moore vs Gang Green, Stanks Stink-Up Houston.

Cristiano Ronaldo

How’d you like to be Erik ten Hag, the skipper of arguably the most popular current athlete in the world,  Cristiano Ronaldo, today? ten Hag (or is it Ten Hag?), whose name seems like a rube’s oxymoronic description of a female that is simultaneously good-looking (a “ten”) and ugly (the “hag” part), dropped the Manchester United star from the starting lineup. No biggie, right? Wrong. Ronaldo not only refused to go in as a sub, but he left the team early. The *flocker was only in this position because he previously left a pre-season friendly against Rayo Vallecano early! That’s some *frogging bunk tile behavior right there. The guy is getting $34,000,000.00 per season to fake catastrophic injuries while fans beat each other senseless over 1-0 games… OVER AND OVER. Stop whining and play, guy.

Elijah Moore

Speaking of shutting up, there’s drama unfolding in what should be an ecstatic J-E-T-S camp because of a 22-year-old wide receiver. That’s right, Moore is the latest in a long line of pouty, self-centered wide receivers that have lost any sense of reality. I caught wind of it listening to Carton & Roberts on WFAN and they were spot on about it. The team is 4-2, they are in the process of developing a strong running game and have another young talent at QB. According to the Book of Eli, however, that ain’t enough. After some back and forth on Twitter – always smart – about not getting any throws his way, there was a meeting. The Jets posted post-meeting that they loved Moore. Not long after, Moore requested a trade. My guess is that the Jets said, “Hey, you’re young, talented and part of good vibe here. Things will evolve organically and you’ll eventually be a bigger part of our offense. Just be patient.” Problem they forgot they were talking to a NFL wide receiver! They are, for the most part, bonkers.

Here’s a tweet that made me, Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich chuckle over this ridiculous saga.

Stanks Stink-Up Houston

“Happy Days are here again…” is on full blast in MTM HQ this morning. But for a Mr. Bean meets Jerry Lewis gaf by Houston’s Fernando Valenzuela with the braided hair extensions, the New York Stankees would have been shut out at Orange Juice Ballpark. After being made into pulp in the two games in Space City, neither Drago nor Lerch, the Stanks’ corner outfielders, would answer our calls for a comment. Indeed, a Stros sweep would see the name Bronx Bombers take on a new meaning.

Feel free to comment/bash me below and come back tomorrow for Aristotle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis.

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About Matt McCarthy 378 Articles
Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off, RugbyWrapUp.com, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.