Big Ben: Giants and Jets Have 99 Problems, Making the Playoffs is One

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – The Giants and Jets got smacked in the mouth by reality on Sunday. Their playoff chances are suddenly plummeting like my crypto portfolio, and there’s a lot more to worry about than a bigger digit in the loss column. Both of these teams suddenly have more problems than Jay Zee with three additional wives. Not to worry, I’m hear to sort it out for you.

Big Poo

The path to victory looked simple for the Giants – Detroit’s poor run defense was gonna get a hefty dose of Saquon. He was the top rated fantasy RB for the week, after all. Well, coordinators make plans and the football gods laugh.

The Lions stacked the box and the Giants kept trying to run left behind Andrew Thomas, their best lineman. But the guy next to him at LG, Shane Lemieux, making his season debut, was getting pushed around like a group of loiterers standing in Angry Ward’s path to an open bar.

Lemieux mercifully got benched but the damage was done. And most of the O-line is now questionable for the Turkey Day game vs the Cowboys.

The Giants were forced to go to the air and that ain’t their game. Dan Jones looked pretty sharp to me, apart from two interceptions, zinging it to Slayton and Wan’Dale Robinson. Robinson had 100 yards, then tore up his knee. It’s been a rough year for the Giants’ receiver room.

Speaking of, Travis Kelce said last week that he had no idea how the Giants let Kadarius Toney out of the building. Maybe he just got his first clue – the guy has hamstrings made of spider webs.

Ring in the Mike White ERA

I’ll never understand why a team would use their top cornerback to return kicks. Didn’t the Giants learn anything from Jason Sehorn? The risk to reward ratio is not favorable. Adoreé Jackson predictably got hurt, on his very first punt return. Fellow starting CB Moreau also went down, and with S McKinney is already out from bye week ATV accident. So, three quarters of the starting secondary might not play Thursday either.

If you’re keeping score at home: The Giants lost badly to the a team they were favored to beat, most of the O-line and secondary are questionable, their most promising receiver is out for the year, and they only have three days off before they head to Dallas to play a team that just wiped their toilets with the 7-1 Vikings in Minnesota.

The current nine point spread seems small.

M.E.S.S. Mess Mess Mess

It seems obvious that if your team has two total yards of offense in the second half, at least some of the blame falls on the quarterback. Can’t we all agree on that? But Zach Wilson was having none of it, blaming everything from the wind to a guy in the third row with a voodoo doll.

This is a big problem because they’ve drafted really well and are building an excellent foundation. You know, apart from the most important position. Now, they don’t want to give up on him too early,  but Zach’s light has really dimmed.

On the play before the punt return TD, they had a 3rd and one. You could tell the first thing on his mind was not screwing up. They Jets seemed like they didn’t want to take a time out so they wouldn’t have to run a play.

They ran a plan and he threw a none yard pass (TM, John Madden) to the flat. They would have to punt and we all know how that turned out. It’s painfully obvious the Jets have no confidence in this guy and he has no confidence in himself. Breece Hall’s dominant running was masking the problem for a while, but like random late night calls to your wife, this is a problem that can no longer be ignored.

Ben Whitney

The only question is do they go to Mike White for the upside or the experienced statue named Joe Flacco. Amazingly, Flacco has more TDs passes this season than Wilson, five to four. At least they have a decent matchup at home vs the Bears, and Justin Fields is questionable.

These teams have suddenly got problems, y’all. Let’s see if they can right their ships.

That’s it for me. Comment below and come back tomorrow for Angry Ward.

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About Ben Whitney 335 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.