History-Making Vikings Conquer Colts and… Messi

Lionel Messi, Kirk Cousins & Ernie DiGregorio. Linked forever.

NEW YORK, NY – With all the excitement of holiday shopping engulfing the MTM Staff, our PAD (Pundit Assignment Desk) botched scheduling today’s starter, so yours truly has the honor of taking the ball. Here’s what caught my fleeting attention: History-Making Vikings Conquer Colts and… Messi.

History-Making Vikings Conquer Colts

Pitty our “Franchise,” Angry Ward, life-long Vikings fan. Yesterday, the Purple People Eaters certainly took some years off his life. Indeed, they chewed Minnesota fans whole, spit them out, scooped up the remains and devoured the scraps. Yet, the poor slobs that root for this team are likely okay with that, as per the historic result. The Baltimore Indianapolis Colts led 31-0 at halftime. Even newbie Head Coach Jeff Saturday (who has really nice eyes) couldn’t let that lead slip away, right? Surely not! After all, leads like that are only surpassed by the likes of a Frank “Third” Reich, who overcame a 35-3 deficit directing the Bills over the Oilers in a wacky Wild Card win.

That was a long time ago, though, and coaching staffs everywhere are now too advanced and prepped to ever let that big a bulge disappear. Or are they? Cut to present. Kirk Cousins doesn’t have a Frank Reich backing him up. With his team trailing 33-0 at halftime, he’d have to lead them back. Talk about a pipe dream. John Q Vikings Fan would have a better shot a playing Pick-Up Sticks with his/her butt cheeks. But hold the phone! This isn’t Randall Cunningham’s Minny Vikes! It’s Captain Kirk’s star fleet! [Ba. Doom. Cha.] Something had to be in the locker room replenishers, as a Purple Wave overwhelmed Indy in the final two quarters. A 33-0 lead inexplicably transformed into a 39-36 OT win for the Vikings, and there is a very good chance that a Minnesota fan or two had a heart attack watching. Let’s hope they are okay and stop following this organization tout suite, as per doctor’s orders. Historically speaking, Vikings will kill you.

Messi

I can’t stand soccer. I like futbol even less. BUT as a sports pundit I have to be current. So, reluctantly, yours truly has been tuning into the Soccer World Cup. That included watching France and Argentina flop, fake dive and feign catastrophic injury in fetal positions, while typing this. Argentina won in what was immediately dubbed “the best world cup ever.” Frankly, the Vikings’ comeback was probably as exciting, and that was… meh.

My takeaway was that I wanted to see Lionel Messi win. Okay, maybe I just wanted to see the French lose. Regardless, Messi is the guy that sports fans at home can convince themselves they can be. He’s not some freak of nature, physically. He doesn’t look like a male model. He is perfectly imperfect. One could argue that he’s like the Ernie DiGregorio of soccer. Like Ernie D, you could delude yourself into thinking, “I could do that.” You can’t. Stop thinking that immediately.

Unlike DiGregorio, however, Messi is right up there with Michael Jordan, Willie Mays, Wayne Gretzky and Tom Brady when comparing him to his peers. He is special. Yet, as I pointed out last week, he was like Dan Marino, Jim Kelly and Christiano Ronaldo in that he never won the big one. That all changed in an Extra Time shootout, in which he had two goals and got one by the keeper in the shootout. He didn’t just come of big… he came up bigly!

NOTE: There is no truth to reports that Lionel Face-timed Kirk & Ernie once he got off the paddock.

Go Giants.

That is all.

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About Matt McCarthy 376 Articles
Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off, RugbyWrapUp.com, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.