NEW YORK, NY – Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Happy Regular Thursday to any of you overseas. Buddy Diaz is off today, so yours humbly will attempt to fill in for him. What’s on the Turkey Day menu, you ask? Well, it ain’t politics. No way. That’s a disastrous discussion topic for a holiday, one that’s ruined more appetites than dry stuffing. We’ll stick to what you came here for… sports. We can, however, toss all of the above into the oven for the obvious main course/conversation turner: Thanksgiving Day Sports Disasters.
Let’s start with the NFL – and the true Thanksgiving Day tradition – right after pretending you like your sister-in-law’s homemade cranberry sauce. The Detroit Lions have been serving up disasters with the consistency of Granny’s sh*tty green bean casserole since 1934. In 2008, the Lions lost 47-10 to the Titans, part of their perfectly imperfect 0-16 season. The only thing more undercooked than their offense was their turkey – and he was the QB.[Cue Joke Drum].
Then there’s the infamous Leon Lett Game of 1993, when the Cowboys’ defensive lineman slipped and kicked a blocked field goal attempt, handing Miami an undeserved victory and ensuring his name would be etched in the pantheon of Thanksgiving buffoonery forever.
College football has had portions of of holiday horrors, too. Rivalry week can turn family dinners into family fisticuffs. Remember 2013’s Kick Six? Auburn returned a missed Alabama field goal 109 yards to win. Granted, it was not technically Thanksgiving Day, but the turkey was still on the table when ‘Bama fans started tossing-up turnip in despair.
The NBA’s has had their share of fowl moments. The New York Knicks, ever the generous hosts, once lost a nationally televised game the day after Thanksgiving by 45 points. AT. THE. GARDEN. In a nationally televised game. Fans in attendance or watching on TV could’ve been at the mall watching people fight over blenders.
The NHL became smart enough to not compete with the NFL, NCAA or NBA on Thanksgiving, so their list of disasters is relatively insignificant. That, and the fact that Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in October just complicated matters.
In the end, Thanksgiving Day Sports Disasters are part of the tradition. They remind us that no matter how bad the fumble, missed shot, or coaching decision, we still get to loosen our belts, pour another drink, and shout at the TV with people we tolerate. Maybe we can even find common ground on what a great movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles is… (But is it a Thanksgiving movie or Christmas movie?)
Irregardless Regardless, have gratitude for the chaos and for the fact that your name isn’t trending on some platform for all the wrong reasons.
On that note, I’ll end this disaster of a column that likely had a tryptophan-ish effect on you.
Happy Thanksgiving. Eat, drink and save the politics… for Valentine’s Day.
