NEW YORK, NY – The literal and figurative Hot Stoves are working overtime this week, especially in the northeast’s bomb cyclone areas. With Spring Training but 3 fortnights away, MLB GMs are calling texting (see this) each other with hypothetical deals and promising propositions (Sandy Alderson aside, of course), that have us fans on the edge of their respective couches. Yet, only but a handful of these potential concoctions are likely to happen, and you know the Yankees will be front and center in the biggest yet. Beyond the Rumor Mills and Trade Winds, however, we can see the forest, despite the trees (Stanton and Judge). Moreover, this pundit clairvoyant has answers to many of your queries and here are the 2018 Top 5 MLB Questions Answered:
Madison Bumgarner: While questions surrounding the conflicting reports about whether this freak-of-nature, throwback guy you want on your team in any sport, dated a girl named Madison Bumgarner swirl round Candlestick Park, a more pressing question is thus:
Q: Will Bumgarner rebound from moribund 2017’s 17 games and return to being the hay-tossing, ax-swinging, Boston version of Babe Ruth in 2018?
A: Yes. He’ll be a Cy Young candidate – despite his new third baseman.
Eva Evan Longoria: Often confused with the fetching actress with the tres similar name, the male version is now at the Hot Corner for the Giants. After years of being an elite power-position guy, his numbers dwindled. The 2008 American League Rookie of the Year and three-time Gold Glover batted .261 with 20 homers and 86 RBIs in 2017.
Q: Will the Long Beach State grad be rejuvenated, having left the giggle-inducing, farce of a ballpark and organization in Tampa?
A: You bet. He’s out of Baseball Hell, outdoors, on grass and with a fan-base other than blue-hairs. And he’ll have Bumgarner hitting behind him.
David Wright: Staying with third-sackers, the Face of Vitamin Water is still the Captain of the New York Mets, which is a farce. He’s had thirty-five surgeries in his 35 Earth years and at this point can be out for two months if he blinks without focusing. The star of Groundhog Day II is now expected – again – to dive, slide, throw and hit with some regularity.
Q: Will David Wright have much of an impact on the Mets in 2018?
A: Yes, if you consider a negative impact as an impact. If he plays his age – 35 games – I’ll give up beer for a month when he plays in #36.
Bryce Harper: Aside from Mike Trout, this is the guy you want on your team. Sure, he’s easy to dislike as a non-Nats’ fan but holy Carl Michael Yastrzemski, this guy is good. MUCH speculation surrounds his departure from the Nationals in 2019 but Washington is not out of the running.
Q: Will Bryce Harper join Aaron Judge, Gary Sanchez and Giancarlo Stanton on the Yankees after 2019, as Bombin’ Ben Whitney, Dancin’ DJ Eberle and Bouncin’ Buddy Diaz hope/know – as per their once-again flourishing PFE (Pinstriped Fan Entitlement) factor?
A: No. His older brother is a reliever in the Nationals’ farm system. At 28, he’s pitching well after Tommy John surgery. The bet here is that he gets mid-summer call-up to show Bryce what playing with his older bro, Bryan, will be like in D.C…
Giancarlo Stanton: When Stanton takes off his shirt, there is something eerily familiar in appearance to likes of the ’90s Ghosts of PEDs Past: Ken Caminiti, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, Darren Daulton and Barry Bonds. Always-honest Keith Hernandez alluded to it from the booth this summer.
Q: Will Stanton hit 40+ homers at the Little League park in the Bronx?
A: No. Like the aforementioned Wright, another almost-unnatural physical specimen with his shirt off, Stanton will see quite a bit of time on the DL. Along with most of the Yankee pitching staff, whom will contract a severe case of Metsitis.
And there you have it. Just like that we’ve answered the Top Five MLB Questions of 2018. Please comment below and come back tomorrow for a man who predicts Matt Harvey will become the next Rick Ankiel, @JunoirBlaber. You can also find us on Twitter @MeetTheMatts and @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram at @meetthematts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
