NEW YORK, NY – The headlines are chock full of what we must ingest and decipher as fact or fiction – #FakeNews – if you will. And the Sports World (random caps as per Junior Blaber) is not impervious to the”jockeying with the truth” that leaves us scurrying to faux fact-check sites… themselves built on the foundation of farce. But we’ve always embraced skewing news and full-fledged prevarications here, so we’re battle-tested in the realm of smoke and mirrors, and our Bullsh!t Detectors are second to none. With that, here we have Friday’s Sports Fibs: Mark McGwire, Buddy Diaz, Conor McGreggor & NY Mets.
Mark McGwire: What better way to get in the swing of disillusionment than to revisit The Man That Destroyed Baseball, Mark McGwire? You remember McGwire, Major League Baseball’s version of Dolph Lundgren’s Drago – but only if he was a good egg. He’s the guy that coldly and indignantly stared down Congress – and the rest of us – about his using Performance Enhancing Drugs. Anywho, Marky [Syringe] Mark came out with this gem of a revelation to Jayson Stark, re his PED use and whether he’d have hit 70 homers without them:
“Absolutely. “I just know myself. I just know. I was a born home run hitter. I mean, unfortunately, I did [take PEDs]. And I’ve regretted that. I’ve talked about that. I regretted it. I didn’t need to. That’s the thing. Didn’t need to… Deep down inside, I know me as a hitter. And I know what I did in that box. And I know how strong my mind is. And I know what kind of hitter I became. And yes. Yes. Definitely.”
Wow. What honesty. But wait, isn’t this the same guy that defiantly said nothing for TWELVE YEARS as Jose Canseco burned the Bash Brothers to the ground before his 2010 confession?
“I remember trying steroids very briefly in the 1989/1990 off-season and then after I was injured in 1993, I used steroids again, I used them on occasion throughout the ‘90s, including during the 1998 season.”
Don’t get sucked in folks, once a fibber, always a fibber. Take it from one of the world’s best.
Buddy Diaz & The Yankees: This week we had different approaches to their assignments by the members of our staff that sold their souls to Beelzebub of the Bronx to root for the Stanks. DJ Eberle kept things broad and talked playoffs, drafts and Giancarlo… Big Ben Whitney buried his head in the sands of the desert surrounding the melting NY Rangers. But then Buddy Diaz took the ball in the rotation, and all Hell broke loose. Now, fanaticism is what “fan” comes from, so with that Mr. Diaz gets license to be crazy for his team. Heck, I’ve got orange and blue suits hanging in my closet. But as Angry Ward and even his Pinstripe Padre Ben Whitney alluded, Buddy’s account of NY besting Boston after a bench-clearing battle of handbags and slap-fighting was a bit much.
“In the end it meant a lot more to the Yankees that they won and that’s all that mattered. They fought and hit their way to a win that will ultimately push them further than another game could. Thank you, Red Sox, for giving this team exactly what they needed… a jolt.”
Some jolt… The Stinkees lost a 6-3 snooze-fest in the encore. Here’s Aaron Judge getting pumped after a walk-off homer… er, hit to break-up a Boston no-hitter in a Yankee loss. https://goo.gl/44trAS
Buddy’s a fibber in that he’s lying to himself – and typing it for fellow fanatics like moi to tear to shreds – so he’s still okay in our books. Delusional? Perhaps. But okay nonetheless.
Conor McGreggor: Either this is one of the great meltdowns in sports history or Dana White & Co are playing us like fiddles. What are the facts? We know that the McGreggor gets paid to fight in a cage as a modern day gladiator. His job description/mission statement says he is to render his opponent unconscious -or as close to death as lawyers will allow – in front of millions of blood-thirsty fanatics. (There’s that word again).
Is this all a premeditated fib? The above clip would indicate not, but maybe the Ruskie and friends didn’t get the script, so as to make it seem more legit? The bet here is that it’s both; McGreggor may have just gone too far as method actor.
NY Mets: Are the Amazins for real? Will injuries to Kevin Plunk-wecki and Travis d’Arnaud (and his falsely reported 6’2″ height) mean that the team will finally get a decent backstop? Will the winning continue? Is the Magic Back? All these questions need answering but right now… let’s live the live with a fibber’s glee! Oh, Happy Days!
That’s all for now, come back tomorrow for a man that is now facing the hard truth about the weather in Buffalo, Junior Blaber.
