Angry Ward: Meet the Bots, and Other Reports from the Abyss

MTM Management
MTM Management

NEW YORK, NY – So, I read a column on this site on Labor Day that seemed completely out of whack to me. For starters, Junior Blaber missed his assignment, not that there’s anything really out-of-the-ordinary about that. But then I started reading the column posted by “The Matts,” and that’s when something really started to stink. The post—a boring and lengthy “analysis” of the Mets September playoff push—immediately struck me as something that wasn’t written by anyone on this staff. In the comments section, I openly asked if it was created using A.I. No one responded, and that was really all the response I needed. Yesterday I texted management and my suspicions were, sadly, confirmed. I got the standard “writer flaked and I was in transit” sob story along with this line: “It was an experiment.”

MTM Management Chairman

I’ve been contributing here too long to NOT care about this. In fact, I’ve taken other sites to task for doing just this sort of thing. To me, it’s not ok to use what my actor-writer-designer friends refer to as “plagiarism software” to create something that you’re passing off as your own. I’d rather come and see a blank page than see another column like the one we got on Monday. This p!sses me off more than a bus full of alcoholic Jets fans. I can put up with a whole bunch of other bullsh!t that happens around this place, but I won’t be a party to dishonesty, especially completely unimaginative dishonesty. That’s all I’m going to say about this, for now. And I sincerely hope it’s the last thing I’ll ever say about it in this space. Let’s talk a little sports.

Maximum Pressure on Minny. It’s not often you get a Week 1 game in the NFL that’s a must-win for a team, but that sure seems like what my Minnesota Vikings are staring down in their opening game in New Jersey this coming Sunday against the Giants. If the Vikes can’t beat Daniel Jones and the G-Men, they are then staring down a slate of games that include teams like the Niners, Texans, Packers, Jets, and Lions. Not good. I’d say this is a must-win for the Giants too, but at least they have a few beatable teams on their upcoming slate. That said, they too have to feel some urgency to win their home opener against Sam Darnold, right? I’ll hopefully be out enjoying a nice September day as this potential disaster plays out in swamp country.

Hurricanes Full of Hot Air. Speaking of the swamp, the Miami Hurricanes’ college football season got off to a rollicking start this past Saturday when they beat the Gators up in Gainesville. And, all I can say is the only thing funnier than a completely despondent Hurricanes fan, is one who actually thinks they might be good. Spoiler Alert: none of the Florida teams are all that great anymore. FSU just lost to Boston College, fer crissakes. Miami will look the part until they don’t, and that will be a ton of fun. Outside of current #22 Louisville, they don’t have a single ranked opponent on their schedule. It’s kinda pathetic, really, but in the end it won’t matter. They will lose a game to one of the many also-rans on their slate, and probably more than that. Can’t wait.

Mets & Yanks. Finally, a brief word about New York baseball as we close out the regular season. The Yankees have been wildly inconsistent (winning by huge margins then losing by a touchdown at home to St. Louis) but they are definitely going to be playing in the post season (please not the Twins!). The Mets have also been a bit all over the map and may not make the post season. What does all of this mean? Who knows? BUT… if the Mets somehow make the playoffs OR they don’t have nine-or-more fewer wins than the Yankees, I’ve got a free dinner coming my way. That’s really all that matters.

That’s all for today. Come back tomorrow for what I hope will be a living, breathing, writing human being named Buddy Diaz.

 

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About Angry Ward 763 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.