HO-HO-KUS, NJ – What’s in Your Closet? Too personal? Maybe you Jeffrey Dahmers out there (looking at you, Sam’s-A-Fan). No, I’m referring to that jersey collection. Or the prized possessions of any rabid sports fanatic. Home and away jerseys that you select to wear, depending on where your favorite team is playing. Perhaps you have favorite stars whose shirts are worn on special occasions.
If this obsession describes you, then ask yourself one thing ? WHY?! Don’t you know that you and other Obsessed Sports Fans Pad Athletes Pockets?!
With all the moving around in free agency, something is for damn sure; the jocks and teams are making millions and the fans are feeding the beasts keeping up with those moves. Blame it on the leagues with salary caps. B
lame it on the Dream Teams, whose players conspire against their current teams to “take their talents elsewhere.” Hell, even CLEVELAND is feeling the love now. After all, we have to see where that jersey lands.
How does it happen? Let’s look at more of the shrewd marketing that the apparel manufacturers and teams have conjured up:
The Camo hats and jerseys to pay tribute to our military – and the wallets of companies. Gotta show your support.. RIGHT?
How about those RED 4th of July Stars -n- Stripes Lids… Can’t go watch the Mets lose without one of those… right Fake Sandy and All-Size Matts?
I’m glad that my kids are grown up. I guess I had it easy with my son’s “must haves”when he was growing up; Yankee pinstripes, Derek Jeter jersey, standard Yanks hat… ALL things Jordan… Marty Brodeur jersey (wife had to buy that…. I refused).
Football? Now they got into variety first…There was the entire family rocking our Dallas Cowboys Starter Jackets and jerseys strutting across the Meadowlands Parking lot to watch them beat those NY Giants when the Triplets ruled the NFL. The best heckling line ever hurled our way was by a seasoned Giant tailgater who yelled “That’s child abuse!” as we walked by in that Dallas attire…. Classic.
-4 lower level 40 yard line tickets – $950
-Food and refreshments – $250
-Room at Cowboys team Hotel – $250
-Pissing Giant fans off – Priceless!!!
There are SPECIAL Thanksgiving game jerseys, those ultra UGLY throwback jerseys that NO ONE remembers….HOW can parents and fans keep up???
Now we have the NHL Winter Classic Collections in addition to the array of styles rolled out each year…or is it each week? Got to admit, I love my Winter Classic Rangers Winter Classic Structured Flex Fit Cap!!
Let’s face it, with the salaries that these guys are reeling in, its NO wonder that the middle class is now relegated to the upper decks of these venues, while blue collars must simply justify that watching on TV is just as exciting as being there! Sure it is!
I just read that The Leprechaun’s Knicks were the MOST Lucrative NBA franchise, with 1.1 BILLION Dollar Value and a profit of 83 million… Let’s make some more trades!!! Get some new merch to pay for some big salaries!
So whats the solution?
I say keep it simple… Let’s start wearing the team colors WITHOUT THE NAMES! Screw these guys who jump from team to team. They remind me of college coeds doing that “walk of shame” after a heavy bender/evening – except the players get paid to “sleep around.” Want Loyalty? Get a dog!
What do you have in Your Closet??? Are you a sucker for a new jersey? It’s time to Come Clean!
Angry Ward, our All-Star, bats clean-up tomorrow…
