Hungry Ward Wednesday: Let Us Give Thanks

Angry_Ward Donald_Trump Meet_The_MattsBRONX, NY – Today is Thanksgiving Eve, one of my favorite days/nights of the year. For many years this was a night I would meet up with old college friends at Madison Square Garden for a college basketball doubleheader. Those were great times, until that one year that we all got so sloshed we pretty much turned on each other and anyone near us. It got UGLY and we never went again. Still, every T-Giving Eve, we try to meet up at a NYC watering hole and raise a glass (or 8) with whoever can make it. Tonight will be no different. There hasn’t been a whole lot to be thankful for this year. Seriously, the grim reaper has been working overtime, there have been numerous crises both in the world and at home, and then there was the election from hell. It’s time to look for some silver linings. Let us give thanks.

Bartolo Colon. It’s hard to jump into the biggest eating holiday of the season without giving thanks for the three glorious years Bartolo “Big Sexy” Colon gave the Mets  and their fans. He was worth the price of admission, and then some. Amazingly entertaining, never wasting time between pitches, and always around the plate, both at the park and in any dining facility. He will be sorely missed.

Columbia University Football. I am forever grateful that I grew up in a neighborhood that allowed me the opportunity to watch the hapless Columbia University Lions attempt to play football every year. Sure, there are other teams playing football around NYC, but watching the Lions up in Northern Manhattan is an experience like no other. They managed to win three games this year, which is great for them. Two of those wins came without the benefit of a touchdown. Now, with your $10 admission you get two free beers, prior to the game. Not too shabby.

With an all-you-can-eat buffet!

Donald Trump. I know, I know, it took me a while but I think I found a positive. He’s moving out of New York for 4 years. Yippee!!! Though I’m hearing that he’ll still spend a considerable amount of time here, I’m not buying it. Gotta stay at the White House, Donald, and do your job. This is real work, fella. Making America Great Again is not some weekend hobby. Have fun in DC. Poor DC. They now have The Donald and The Daniel, as in Snyder. Fun times around the Beltway.

victor-enrich-white-houseNot Hosting Thanksgiving. For the first time in a while, my family and I will not be hosting Thanksgiving dinner. Don’t get me wrong, I actually don’t mind hosting. You have a certain amount of control over the TV and your own turkey skin consumption and how much (if any) you’ll allow your guests to have. But this year we are dining with friends. Only need to bring a whole bunch of wine and maybe a dessert. I’ll take that over hours of cleaning dishes and wrapping up food and throwing out mounds of garbage. Keep the food coming and pass the gravy.

That’s all for this week. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz or perhaps even a word from Short Matt, who has more hot air than a dozen Macy’s Parade balloons. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

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About Angry Ward 699 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.