Angry Ward Wednesday: Save Other Sports News for Tuesday, the NFL is Weak, and OBJ is Playing the Field

The Biebs, Ted, OBJ and newest Met Shotani

BRONX, NY – So they finally drew Powerball, and I didn’t win. No surprise there. Thankfully, my stool in the Loser’s Lounge is always warm and welcoming and waiting for me to peck out another in an obscenely long line of posts that sound eerily similar to something I said four years ago or, quite possibly, last week. Let’s get to it.

A Suggestion to All the Other Sports. Dear Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, and What-Have-You: Whenever there is a day when there are no NFL games being played, or no huge college football games, that’s a day when you guys need to me making some noise. I’m writing this on Tuesday. It’s Election Day, but sports fans are starved for something juicy to sink their fan fangs into. Why aren’t the Yankees making a blockbuster deal for Shohei Ohtani? Bigger question, why is #MLB waiting for November 10th to start free agency?! At this very moment, someone could be swooping in to sign Jacob deGrom to a ridiculous 5-year deal worth north of $200 million. LeBron could take this day to announce his retirement from the putrid Lakers. And the Bruins could have waited until now to announce they were signing that horror show they have since cut ties with. It’s an easy formula, guys. Fill the void.

NFHELL. There’s no way around this, there are a sh!t ton of very bad teams this year in the NFL. Outside of the Eagles—and occasionally the Chiefs and Bills—there aren’t a whole lot of teams that don’t have a whole lot of questions. Remember how everyone was so excited to watch the daftar slot rtp tertinggi? Not so much anymore. Sure the #AFC East has been entertaining, but are we really ready to accept the Jets, Dolphins, and Pats as “for real?” How about my 7-1 Vikings? They are the perfect example of what I’m talking about here. Great record, running away with their division (for now), and they have only one win over a team with a winning record. And that win was a squeaker over a Dolphins team without Tua. There are entire divisions in the league this year that are mediocre at the top and unbearably stinky as you slide down the standings pole. If Geno Smith makes a deep playoff run this year, I say it’s time to shut it all down and retool.

OBJ. Just a quick hitter here. I love how Odell Beckham Jr.—a guy who’s had to be towed off the field almost as much as Short Matt’s old Crown Victoria had to be towed off the road—is now the Queen of the NFL Ball, with many anxious suitors waiting for his services. Seriously, this guy is playing this thing like he’s going to start handing out roses a la The Bachelor. That so many are lining up for a guy that has trouble staying healthy just speaks to the dearth of other talent that’s available. Good luck to whoever wins… you’re going to need some.

Finally, I don’t support anyone throwing stuff at people at sporting events or other public gatherings that can potentially cause injury, but what the hell was Ted Cruz doing in the Houston Astros World Series Parade? You’ve got to to better and be smarter than, Houston. Whenever politicians try to shoehorn themselves into these celebrations (ugh, De Blasio), they need to politely be told: “Get the f**k out of here.”

Okay, I’m done for today. Come back tomorrow for the one-man celebration that is Buddy Diaz.f

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About Angry Ward 742 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.