Angry Ward: Kirk Beamed Up to Atlanta, Aaron Judge OK (?), and Cleveland Goes All In on Questionable QBs

[Cue Cher] "If I could turn back time..."

NEW YORK, NY – Kirk Cousins is Atlanta’s problem now. He looks the part, he talks the part, he even sometimes plays the part of “Franchise Quarterback” but, I assure you, he is fool’s gold. And the Vikings just signed Sam Darnold to a one-year deal so… problem solved! LOL! But seriously folks, I’m so thrilled that Cousins is gone that I really am embracing the idea of “anyone but him.” That said, there’s another Jets QB reject out there looking for home. Don’t even think it, Minnesota. Anyway, what else is going on? Plenty, actually.

Aaron Judge OK. Apparently, New York Yankees Carnival Giant Aaron Judge recently had an MRI on some sort of abdominal issue that came back clean. That’s good news for Yankees fans and baseball fans but, and I hate to bring this up again, I just don’t see how you’re going to keep someone that large healthy over a yearly 162-game schedule… even if he’s DHing. Powering supersized humans over an extended period of time is an almost impossible task. For the sake of baseball, I hope I’m wrong about Judge, and he’s the exception. But, get out and see him while you can anyway.

Browns Nearing Deal with QB Winston. This is a headline I just read and, wow, that’s some quarterback room they’re putting together in the Mistake by the Lake. Watson and Winston, the weird physical comedy team that NO ONE asked for.

Darryl Strawberry Recovering from Heart Attack. If this doesn’t make you feel old, nothing will. A friend texted and said something along the lines of: “Maybe Doc and Straw have Keith Richards potential… unkillable.” Yeah, something tells me that won’t be the case. At this point it would be nice for both to see their numbers retired this year. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Derrick Henry Signs with Baltimore. I really hope he stays healthy and that John Harbaugh is as smart a coach as I think he is, because I think Derrick Henry could have a huge season with the Ravens. In the interest of full disclosure, he’s been on my team in my keeper league since he was a rookie. Anyway, Mike Mularkey had no idea what to do with him and wasted his first couple of years in the league. But Mike Vrabel knew what he had and was able to showcase a generational talent. Harbaugh should be able to figure it out, especially with the offensive pieces he has. Again, if he stays on the field, this will be an insanely tough team to defend.

Think that’s it for me today. I’m away next week for Spring Break and hoping Management turns over the highly-coveted Wednesday slot to one of the young Sternberg dynamos. Come on back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who is probably still out there fielding free agency offers from other sites. Good luck, Buddy! Send for me when you land somewhere.

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About Angry Ward 743 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.