HUDSON YARDS, NYC – Pulling out of a midtown parking garage with a soft front tire is never a pleasant experience. But when you’re on a tight schedule to see an ailing Mama Matt, you damn the torpedoes and hope the metaphor for Eli’s blindside holds up enough to get you through the Lincoln Tunnel to North Bergen/Edgewater – where Ice T, Donald Edmond Wahlberg Jr and Jenny McCarthy live. But life often throws baffling curve-balls (ask Ike Davis) or a broken-down bus in the Tunnel, and sacks even the worst-laid-plans. The added hour of stress aside, the dog and me eventually made it to the hospital. Fast-forward 2+ hours and Dad’s 1998 Crowne Victoria on a jack outside the tire place on 10th Avenue & 35th Street, and a broken play turns positive. See, even Tiki Barber is prone to a bad tire, and our shared Series of Unfortunate Events left us talking the NFL Draft and NY Jets and Giants.
Tiki’s Takes (embellished for length):
Giants: Eli Manning still has plenty of gas in the tank. The addition of #2 pick Saquon Barkley and signing of free agent Nate Solder to solve the referenced left tackle issue, along with Odell Beckham should turn things around.
J-E-T-S: Suffering Gang Green fans may finally have themselves a QB. Sam Darnold is a solid pick.
Giants: For the Jints’ plan to work, they need TWO MORE linemen. That ain’t going to happen with the $23, 000,000.00 Manning and Beckham demanding “highest paid” dollars. But Eli doesn’t have to complete another pass after beating the Pats twice, so this is a gamble with house money, so patch those tires and we’ll see you in the Canyon of Heroes – or the Meadowland’s parking lot.
Jets: Their new QB, despite being eerily similar to Buddy Pine, should be good. He’s no Browning Nagle. He won’t be grabbing his groin like Baker Mayfield – which would have been tres cool in NYC – but he may be grabbing Pro Bowl creds in 3 years.
Truth be told, talking with Tiki lasted about 2 minutes, but we were succinct and more concerned about our tires (and dog in jacked-up car). Nice guy, unassuming and said “Take care, brother” as the pooch and me pulled away. That made the bum tire almost worth all the angst.
Thank you, Mr. Barber, for making a Series of Unfortunate Events forgettable.
Speaking of Angst…
Sandy Alderson’s Mets are rearing their ugly heads, just as those Damned Yankees are heating up. Yesterday’s games are a likely precursor of what’s ahead:
-The Mets wasting their Pitching God’s Herculean performances, with sh!tty defense, slow base-runners, crappy catching, roller-coaster closer and one-dimensional offense. Since going 12-1, they are 3-7 with UGLY losses.
-The Yankees bullying their way to daunting wins, while treating most of the AL like they treat the Twinkies. This is all despite their big guns being poop so far. Oy vey, this could be a long, insufferable summer of Buddy Diaz, DJ Eberle and Ben Whitney – although Big Ben is one helluva lot more tolerable than the other two.
And with that, we leave it up to you:
-Who were the winners in the NFL Draft?
-Did the Jets or Giants get it right? Did both?
–Ronde vs Tiki; who do you like more?
Opine below, por favor, come back tomorrow for giddy Jets’ fan Junoir Blaber and please follow us on social media.