ROCKET CITY, AL – What a week in sports! So much going on, so little time! With that, let’s get to today’s topics: Junk Pitcher, Bully Pulpit Tom Brady, Life-Support Mets, SF Bullet-Dodgers, Newton To Vikes
Often in sports the best names just fall from the heavens, as gifts from the Sports Comedy Gods. We all have our go-to’s; Dick Trickle, Dick Pole… but his isn’t about Dick jokes, it’s about great names. The latest great name, fresh up from Rocket City, Alabammy, comes in the form of a Triple-A pitcher Janson Junk. Junk! A Junk pitcher! How great is that?! The headline possibilities are endless. Here are a few:
Angels’ Junk Sticks It To A’s
Maddon Yanks Junk on National TV
Giants Expose Junk
Halos Showcase Junk
Feel free to offer up your Junk below.
Bully Pulpit Tom Brady
If memory serve correctly, it was Big Ben Whitney who pointed out how Tompa Tom has reached that rarefied atmosphere in which a professional athlete is able to speak his/her mind sans the worry of getting canned. His recent criticism of flags being thrown on every big defensive hit, for instance, must have NFL suits hopping mad. If you listen carefully, you can likely hear repeated exclamations of “Damn you, Tommy!” resonating in the hallways (plural) of Roger Goodell’s palatial office. But you know what? He’s right. Read this.
Stop the presses! The New York Mets are back! What is your definition of ‘back’ you ask? Why it’s at that Milestone of Mediocrity – a .500 record. Never mind that it’s been an agonizing journey against the sh*ttiest of teams in the MLB’s sh*ttiest division. All that matters is that the Amazins find themselves but 4 games out of 1st place! Last night’s game was a case in point: a 10th inning sh*t show that saw the recently reliable Edwin Diaz cough up a lead (with the help of some sh*tty defense), only to have the Metsies plate 4 runs in the 10th and Jeurys Familia nail it down. That is not a misprint. Each of those two guys have been pretty good. Amazin!
Newton To Vikes
There is no truth to this, whatsover. It was put in two things:
1) Serve as click-bait
2) Give our staff MVP Angry Ward, a lifelong Minnesota Vikings fan, agita… He’s always better when he’s angry, after all.
That’s all for now, please feel free to leave your click-bait – or anything else – below.