NEW YORK, NY – Ah, the National Football League’s controversial dark week is upon us. For whatever reason, the NFL takes an off-week between the AFC & NFC Championship games, respectively. This allows for rust to form and injuries to heal. It’s an interesting dynamic. Here’s an idea: Play the Super Bowl on a Saturday. You will still have 13 days of rest/rust. Plus, us boozers can really spend like drunken sailors without having to call in sick on Monday! Do it. Jack & Coke. Do it. Yet I digress… Let’s get today’s healines: Tom Brady NOT RETIRING and the Overrated Andy Reid.
Tom Brady Has Retired
That is the headline being bandied about, at least. But when ONE OF YOU retires, you hopefully can go on to live comfortably on what you have saved to date. The hope is that your Pittsburgh Pirates-esque penny-pinching enables you to live out your days… you have what you need and then maybe a little bit extra. Maybe you can leave something for your spoiled-rotten kids when you pass, or at the very least don’t burden them with bills because you’re broke. That would mean you were wise enough to not work as a Meet The Matts pundit… Either way, you’ve hung up your pocket protector. You are done punching in. You don’t have to stuff your nose up someone’s poop-shoot. You are done with work!!!
You certainly aren’t expecting to retire from a job that you’ve been working at for 25+ years, and get $37 million for the year at some new enterprise. That’s just for one day a week it’s just during the football season. Other than that you’re off! And get this: you’re off during the spring and summer!
Enter Tom Brady… Tom Brady is NOT RETIRING. He’s switching roles, and if you weren’t jealous of Brady to date, you should be now. He has it made. In sickening fashion. I’m so jealous I want to take a figurative bag of nickels and hit him in the face. That’s figurative, not literal. That would be illegal, so don’t even think about it.
Overrated Andy Reid
Picking off on a thread in yesterday’s column by Eagles fan Buddy Diaz, I just wanted to reiterate that Andy Reid is arguably the most overrated coach in the NFL. He has the best quarterback ever on his team. Yet, he only has one Super Bowl win. At this point, with the roster that he has, anytime he doesn’t win a Super Bowl he should get fired… And the Eagles aren’t as good as the Bengals or the Bills. Plus, Patrick Mahomes will have had that extra week to heal… So, if Reid doesn’t win this Big Game, he should be considered an abject failure.
Is Ohtani a Met yet?
That is all for today.