Big Ben: Christmas Caroling Around the NFL: Traditional Songs for Teams, Players, Coaches

The North PoleThanksgiving was late this year, so we have to get into the Christmas spirit with the haste of the boy outside of Scrooge’s window sent to buy the prize turkey. I’m here to help. Let’s go Christmas Caroling Around the NFL.

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Maybe the New York Giants won’t literally be home for Christmas, but their season was over before it began. They play in the worst division in football, but never threatened to make even the slightest noise. They’re currently looking at the second pick in the draft.

I thought the Giants’ season would be a success if they transitioned smoothly to Daniel Jones and he looked capable. Well, that mission was accomplished but not much else went according to plan. The entire 2018 draft class took a step back and the 2019 class hasn’t looked great either, especially on defense. How many players on this team can you confidently say are building blocks? You might not need your second hand to count them. On defense I think you can count them on one finger, Dexter Lawrence.

Fear Fear Not Mary

Then there’s Scared Sam Darnold who was seeing striped ghosts again on Sunday. Mr. Hyde came out this week after a few weeks of Dr. Jekyll. I’m not sure what to make of this guy but he sure doesn’t seem to handle pressure well. The New York Jets became the only team to lose to two teams who were at least 0-7 in the same season. #Humbug.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Early in the season, some idiot “writer on this site said the Dallas Cowboys were one of the top two teams in the NFC. That idiot was me. In my defense… ah, forget it. There’s no respectable way to end that sentence.

Well, some lucky team is going to be gifted the NFC East crown. It’s going to be lame when Dallas or Philly get in at 8-8 or 7-9 over a team with a better record. But right now, that team would be the LA Rams. And I think I speak for everyone when I say no one will care if the Rams miss they playoffs after that ass whomping they took at the hands of the Ravens last week. I don’t think they got much grid¬†cred back with the Cards win. And after the Rams it gets even uglier with the Bears, Bucs, and Eagles in contention. Yeeesh, the NFC sure is top heavy.

Sure, the NFL could get rid of divisions and this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. With eight divisions there’s gonna be a sh!tty one in some years. But I’d hate to lose the divisional rivalries. Life isn’t always fair. If you wanted to make the playoffs, Rams, you shouldn’t have given up 55 points to the Bucs.

Lamar, the Savior is bor-orn.

A King is Born

The Baltimore Ravens are your new Super Bowl favorite. One week late if you ask me. Lamar Jackson looks like the offspring of Michael Vick, a canon, and a water bug. I would have liked to see that game played without the weather issue. That might be the best Super Bowl match-up.

O Come All Ye Faithful

Somehow, the New England Patriots still have the third best odds to win it all. This is just on reputation, because they sure didn’t look like the third best team on Sunday night. I’m not sure if I remember Tom Brady looking quite so flustered and repeatedly throwing it into the ground. It’s obvious they have fewer weapons they they’ve had in years and throwing away a second round pick for¬†Mohammed Sanu reeks of desperation.

The Texans, and old friend D-Coordinator Romeo Crennel, double-teamed Edelman and put a cornerback on James White. None of the other skill players on the Pats stepped up. Get ready for copy cats using the same strategy until Bill figures out how to beat it.

Some us have flushed a good bit of coin down the drain predicting the demise of the Pats. They’ve looked done before, but they find a way. I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t get a first round bye and get knocked out early. But I also wouldn’t be surprised to see them in the AFC Championship Game.

Did the branches outsmart the tree?

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Although the best team in the league resides in the AFC, I think at least the next three (SF, NO, and Seattle) are in the NFC. The Niners have another tough one at New Orleans next week and if they lose, might been playing in the first round.

I think the Chiefs and Texans are flawed but you never know contenders. I’m not buying in on the Packers after their two California bashings or the Pats with their offensive woes. The Bills are Vikings are interesting dark horses that will probably fall just short.

Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, whose favorite Christmas song is Christmas With Satan. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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About Ben Whitney 375 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.