Happy Ward Wednesday: Ding Dong the Douche is Gone… and, um, Sports Stuff Too!

Angry_Ward, Ward-Calhoun, Donald-Trump, Adam Gase, Jarod Porter, Mets, NFL-Playoffs, Mahomes Meet_The_Matts, Steve Cohen, NY Rangers

BRONX, NY – Happy Inauguration Day, everyone! Wow! Right? Usually a presidential term puts the guy in charge in the human fruit dehydrator age-o-matic but, in this case, it was all of us. Nothing like being an unwilling participant in a four-year joke where the set-up is a white supremacist version of The Aristocrats, chock-a-block with wall-to-wall racist rhetoric, kids in cages hijinx, redneck prop comics that would make Jeff Foxworthy hurl, Vlad Putin playing Bud Abbott, and a punchline where almost half million people are dead. Amirite, folks?

Anyway, I’ll take what I can get. For instance, I didn’t know that Kamala Harris is a big Golden State Warriors fan and owns a whole bunch of Chuck Taylor sneakers. Was crushing hard after seeing that on CBS Sunday Morning. I also got word that our own JG Clancy will be preparing himself a sumptuous Joe Biden Breakfast tomorrow morning. I don’t have the full menu but hear it involves french toast, real maple syrup, sausages, and Kerry Gold Butter aplenty.

Joe-Biden, John Kerry, Kerry Gold Butter, Meet-The-Matts, Ward-Calhoun, Angry_Ward
Butter fingers on the left? [Ahem]
So, what’s happening in sports?

Apparently Short Matt isn’t the only person in the Universe who has no problem sending 60 consecutive texts without a response. How come HE didn’t get an interview for the Mets GM position?

Short Matt awaits  awkward text reply

There’s talk the New York Jets might actually be thinking about trading for rightfully disgruntled, and pretty damn talented, Houston Texans QB Deshaun Watson. I would very much like to see this, if for no other reason than to watch old white Irish Jets fans’ heads explode.

RIP Don Sutton. Someone told me the other day that Tom Seaver, a year before he was dealt to the Reds, was almost traded to the Dodgers for Don Sutton and two prospects… are you ready? Rick Sutcliffe and Pedro Guerrero. Oof!

The New York Rangers lost to the Devils last night. That’s all I got on that one.

As for Championship Weekend in the NFL? Packers/Chiefs Super Bowl I rematch is coming… at least I think it is. Mahomes might clear concussion protocol, but he looked pretty screwed up with his foot injury last week before all the other junk, so we’ll see. Packers should be a cinch.

OK, I am bleary-eyed and done for this week. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who sees a clear road to the playoffs for the Knicks.

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About Angry Ward 699 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.