FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – This just in: apparently there is no wifi in Ft. Lauderdale! At least that’s what Cheesy Bruin is using as his excuse for not being front and centre (Canadian spelling for Angry Ward) today. But worry not, NFL gamblers, the Cheese Man still managed to text his winning picks for today, despite the efforts of his drinking buddy, JG Clancy, to blow us off altogether. But when one door only opens a crack, another opens fully and yours truly is grateful for the chance to vent re the latest MLB Injury Coverup, before getting to the Cheesy Bruin NFL Picks.
Would you believe us if we told you that Cheesy Bruin has a career mark of 92% following a down week? If that’s the case, he’s due for a BIG WEEK after going 1-3 last week. Damn the torpedoes and bet the kid’s college tuition on these:
Favorite: The New York Football Giants won a game they would certainly have lost last year, despite a mind-numbing game plan THAT DIDN’T let Eli Manning throw the ball against a depleted Dallas defense. That should change this week, enabling the G-Men to best Drew Brees and the Saints in a shootout… New York Giants -4. 5
Under Dog: If you’re in Ohio, you can get a Browns versus Ravens ticket for $26. That’s almost worth the drive. This may sound crazy, but take the home team over the bastards that bolted from Cleveland for Baltimore… Cleveland Browns +6
Under: Andy Reid’s Kansas City Chiefs could be a force to reckon with but watch out for Houston’s defense keeping it close… Take the Under at 43.
Over: Sure, this could have been the Giants/Saints track meet, but Andy Luck is back and Trevor Siemian proved he was no Mark Sanchez in getting the job done in Week 1. That combination should make for a big day for the respective offenses… Take the Indianapolis/Denver Over at 44
MLB Injury Coverup: Okay, we don’t have some incendiary inside intelligence (some would argue we have no intelligence… ever) but we do have a kind of street version of Spidey Sense that has our back hair twitching and tingling. (Take a moment to visualize that). And this is yet another instance where Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is sorely missed, as he’d be all-in on exposing this unlikely conspiracy. But he can only guide by proxy from his Diamond Club perch in the sky, as his Twitter account sits eerily idle after his last rant (August 13th), before the f*cking cancer KO’d him with a left hook out of left field… Anyway, this coverup once again involves Sandy Alderson and the Mets. If you missed my David Wright piece, check it out by clicking this. It certainly makes this latest nonsense seem fully possible.
What nonsense, you ask?
Consider this: The Mets had a big giveaway last night – Jacob deGrom Hair Hat Night. The first 15,000 fans attending would get the hat with the hair sewn in the back. Fun stuff, right? Wrong. deGrom was out for 2+ weeks with an elbow issue. Then he miraculously recovered just in time to pitch the day after his Hat Night… But as fans were on their way to the game yesterday, giddy with the good feeling of the injured returning (Lucas Duda and Juan Lagares, too), Sandy Alderson abruptly announces that deGrom will likely miss the rest of the year and have surgery.
What?! Are you kidding?! Something doesn’t mesh here. If your star pitcher says his elbow hurts, you send him to the hospital for tests, no? Then you look at the results and come up with a course of action. Either that happened and the info was withheld until the eve of this promo night, because nobody wants a hat for a guy that is now in jeopardy of never pitching again, or you are completely incompetent as a GM and medical staff… Perhaps, though, you are part of a scheming, lying, let’s-deceive-our-fans-at-every-turn trio of schmucks (Alderson, Fred & Jeff Wilpon). And guess who was more stunned than anyone else – Terry Collins. How does that happen?! He’s the Manager, for crissakes!
It’s just another Mets, MLB Injury Coverup folks, and there will be more with this troupe. For as John Adams said, “Facts are stubborn things.”
That’s it. Please comment below and come back tomorrow for a desperate DJ Eberle, a fella with a Buffalo Bills affliction… And please follow us on Twitter – @CheesyBruin & @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
P.s… The Junoir Blabers welcomed little Genevieve Ruth Blaber into the world yesterday. 7lbs, 1 oz, 19.75 inches…